Living at the Speed of Slow...for-ev-er!

Posted on May 30, 2008 / Thoughts

Apparently tortoises (if that's the correct plural) live to be real old. i mean real old, even to 255 years old. that sucks. i know a lot of people say life is to short to waste, time flies, blah blah.

but seriously 255 years i ridiculous! that's two and a half centuries. if that was a house pet, it would have somewhere between 3-5 owners/mothers/fathers. Apparently this has evolutionary advantages because animals that live in "unpredictable" environments utilize longevity to ensure successful reproduction. yaadaa yaadaa blah blah.

Whatever! what really matters is the biological foundations of this "phenomena" but that these animals NOT ONLY LIVE FOREVER BUT THEY MOVE AT THE SLOWEST SPEED EVER. i could run a marathon (if my lungs held up, probably not!) and goto school, graduate college, get married, have kids, get divorced, eat bad sushi and almost die, have grandchildren and then die before this creature moves 2 miles. and on top of that, it has only live a 1/5th of its life. ridiculous.

all i know is that i personally would hate to be a tortoise. moving at the speed of slow, for-ev-er is not my idea of fun (or living for that matter) and yes "for-ev-er" is a reference to a great american classic, the sandlot.