Posted on June 06, 2008 / Thoughts

Right now i'm on vacation in a third world country next to a another country that a war is going on in. i will not mention the name of the country i'm in due to the possibility that i may be arrested, sent to the army or killed. you come to understand why in the next few minutes. for this article i will refer to this country as "shizaville".

freedom of speech does not exist in shizaville. this totaliterian regime is quite corrupt. bribery, extortion, and other illegal activities are as common as the mosquitos (and they are everywhere)! not to mention its like 10000 degress with 100% humidity--probably why they are so corrupt.

anyways, back to the topic! for the past few days i've been having ideas, lots of ideas, good ideas, bad ideas, ideas...

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Posted on June 02, 2008 / Thoughts


following my recent breakup, i start thinking a lot about my past relationship and all the elements included. we loved to go out together to bars and lounges throughout the city and hang out enjoy some drinks and dancing and whatnot.

what i realized, though, was that i introduced her to many of these bars/lounges. i was the one who went out of my way to discover these places and take her there to check them out and enjoy what they had to offer. therefore, these venues, although public, rightfully belong to my particular sphere of interests throughout the city! in other words, since these are "my spots" she has to forfeit her right to attend these places out of respect for me. and vice versa, ill stay clear of the bad clubs she took me to....

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Posted on May 30, 2008 / Thoughts


Apparently tortoises (if that's the correct plural) live to be real old. i mean real old, even to 255 years old. that sucks. i know a lot of people say life is to short to waste, time flies, blah blah.

but seriously 255 years i ridiculous! that's two and a half centuries. if that was a house pet, it would have somewhere between 3-5 owners/mothers/fathers. Apparently this has evolutionary advantages because animals that live in "unpredictable" environments utilize longevity to ensure successful reproduction. yaadaa yaadaa blah blah.

Whatever! what really matters is the biological foundations of this "phenomena" but that these animals NOT ONLY LIVE FOREVER BUT THEY MOVE AT THE SLOWEST SPEED EVER. i could run a marathon (if my lungs held up,...

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Posted on February 14, 2007 / Thoughts

"qwerty" is the name of that thing that has those buttons with those letters, numbers and other buttons randomly assorted in some unnecessary confusion that you are unfortunately accustom to. that little mechanism from hell is called a "keyboard" and you probably use it every day.

while i was siting at the computer waiting for somebody to IM me back, i started thinking. because nobody was on at 1:46 am. so i asked myself why a computer keyboard is designed as obscurely as it is. i know everyone else asks the question once in a while. but you guys probably arent as bored as i am. i actually looked up the answer. the keboard was designed in 1860 and was called the "qwerty" (the first six letters on the left hand side of the first row of letter...

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Posted on December 06, 2006 / Thoughts

i try not to think about my past life, and when i say past life i mean that life prior to the second half of fifth grade. why? you ask. because that was not the best part of my life.
i was an ugly kid, apparently, and i now admit it. i was real skinny, i had long jerry-curl-esque hair and real big glasses. and for some reason my head (which is relatively small) looked so big when placed upon my toothpick like body.

i wasnt the most popular kid in school, that is fo sho (think 40 year old virgin). i remember a few defining moments, though, that recreated my image at the school i was at:
The first moment of my lower school life that thrawted my popularity from the "gutter" was an interception. One misely football game, fourth graders (me) vs....

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Posted on November 26, 2006 / Thoughts

recently i had an operation on my nose, commonly refered to as a nose job, but not so much in my case. this operation left me home alone all day long watching movie after movie and pondering the eccentricities of modern man. One lonely night, let me stress the loniliness of this night, i was watching a movie called "just like heaven," which basically centers around a man who moves into a dead woman's apartment, with all her stuff still there (if you want to know more, you're no longer my friend). ANyway, this just made me think of all the romantic comedies i've seen and how a new genre has evolved from within this preexisting one, namely "romantic comic fantasy." who the fuck. somebody deserves to die!

i remember when romantic comedies first...

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Posted on November 26, 2006 / Thoughts

What ever happened to the morally coherent teenage girl? I could have swore that young, teenage girls used to have some sense of what is right and what is wrong. apparently not. (not to mention the fact that they get even less aware of what morality is, the older they get).

This past halloween I pondered the ways in which i could scare young boys and girls as they came by my house trick-or-treating and moving ont he next. At first i made goat noises from a window, then Chubaka like sounds. I failed miserably. They laughed instead of beingfrightened.

Then a great idea dawned in my genius mind--play dead! So i layed outside my front door, one leg on the ground, the other on a step, i was spralled out with a hood and sweat pants on, and nobody...

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