Why Chicagoans Would Kick any Londoner's Ass in a (snowball) Fight!

Posted on February 06, 2009 / Thoughts

Now I'm not going to sit here and lie, us Chicagoans are not that tough! Nope! Sorry, jersey, we opted not to take all those steroids (hence why our junk has not shrunk!). We definitely wouldn't beat them in a fight, that's for sure. But there is one thing that makes every Chicagoan a tough son of a bitch: cold ass wheather! Unlike most of the world 20-40 degree wheather, to us, is like the chill you get when you step out of the shower on a winter's morning. that shit barely phazes us. It'll take a -15 degree wheather (without the wind chill), a broken heater and at least a 3 foot pile of snow to hold us back!

Recently, London experienced a "snow storm" that essenetially incompacitated the entire city. Apparently, London doesn't experience enough snow storms to warrant any serious precausions or equipment. Or maybe they're too drunk to think about it? The consequencies of this "storm" is unbelievable, not only did the tube, buses and almost the entire transit system shut down, but a fifth of the workforce took a day off! Why? Perhaps because it was the "largest snow event in 18 years."

You're probably wondering how much snow they got, right? Well, prepare for this one Chicagoans...it was a meager 6 inches of snow. Let me reiterate, it was a whole 6 inches of fluffy snow that nearly paralyzed one of the largest metropolitan cities in the world. It doesnt end there, it was reported that it caused chaos at the airport delaying people for up to 48 hours and overall causing the city around $4.3 billion (USD) in loses. Holy shit! $4.3 billion dollars and that's not worth serious investments in winter equipment?

One guy said "good thing hitler's dead...he couldn't get us wih his blitz, but the place is so incapacitated now, he'd walk right in." HAHAHAH. That's great. Fuckin Londoners, it doesn't surprise me that you may have actually lost that war because of the wheather. Now compare that to Chicagoan? It'll be -15 degrees without the wind chill, there will be 2 feet of snow and all the public schools and offices will be open and running. That shit doesnt phase us! We can't be stopped by 6 inches of snow. If i called off work because of 6 inches of snow then people would laugh at me and call me a little bitch. It is apparent that us Chicagoans would kick the Londoners asses in a snow ball fight any day of the week.

6 inches, psst. that's lame! Sorry London, i'm going to have to take 5 points away. Chicago 100, London -5!